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Sehnsucht

by Scalawag

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    This vinyl is a deluxe 12" coloured opaque green vinyl with a full-colour printed sleeve that includes lyrics and extra artwork.

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    Get all 7 Scalawag releases available on Bandcamp and save 15%.

    Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Sehnsucht, Nobody Leaves, Runaway EP, You On My Mind, Touch, Made Of (Live), and Scalawag. , and , .

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1.
Fleeting 05:10
I have gone the way of flowers, wilted in the cold Crushing snow and ice will go, and leave me stronger than the old We curl up being helpless, needing shelter from the storm The waves are building higher now, but we’re creating something more And I want you, and you want the truth Fleeting like everything we do And I’ve always known you would go And I’d be on my own The trees around us bend and break, but we stay where we are We’ll wait it out as lovers do, by fusing heart to heart It’s crashing and our walls and levees can’t hold nothing back We built them strong but stronger still is freedom from the wrack And I want you, you want the truth Fleeting like everything we do And I’ve always known you would go And I’d be on my own But it still makes me smile to hear you say my name In my dreams, I’m aware of where I should’ve been There’s nothing I can do that should make it up to you I know that, But I’m still gonna try ‘Cause I’ve seen it when we had the chance to fly When the sun comes out again in this city made of rain The rays of light pass through the clouds We’ve made it through the hurricane The worst of it has passed us now, with new beginnings sure to show We build our buildings stronger now, and move towards the unknown But I know you, and you know the truth Fleeting like everything we do And you’ve always known we would fly It would just take a little time ‘Cause you have been the perfect shelter and the perfect storm Leaving me in pieces and then making sure I’m warm.
2.
HeyDay 04:34
The longer I sit in the dark, the harder it is to see I ain’t meditating I’m just hibernating Trying to get myself through the week In the hope I’ll see you soon Sometimes my breath doesn’t feel like enough and I wonder Do the birds mind the rain and the thunder? ‘Cause if it’s true what they say about time speeding up as we get older I wish I could fly through this storm So I could spend more of it with you I sent you a letter again, did you see? There’s nothing but space there, but it would mean a lot to me If you could respond soon Sometimes my breath doesn’t feel like enough and I wonder Do the birds mind the rain and the thunder? ‘Cause if it’s true what they say about time speeding up as we get older I wish I could fly through this storm So I could spend more of it with you And where does the wind come from? And what does she want with me? ‘Cause she keeps blowing down all these trees That I keep standing up at forty-five degrees Sometimes my breath doesn’t feel like enough and I wonder Do the birds mind the rain and the thunder? ‘Cause if it’s true what they say about time speeding up as we get older I wish I could fly through this storm So I could spend more of it with you I wish I could fly through this storm I wish I could fly through this storm So I could spend more of it with you
3.
First Steps 05:08
Goodbye my life I won’t see you again forever And if I do, it won’t be the same ‘Cause we’ll both have changed for the better Or for the worst But either way We won’t know who we are all the same Haven’t talked to you in a while, which I regret Do you even know my name anymore, or do you forget? I know it’s hard for you to say what’s on your mind I don’t know yours either Been alone in my mind for a pretty long time Just tryin’ to figure out if everything’s fine Haven’t done a good job though, ‘cause I don’t know I don’t know if I can hold on Even though I’ve been told a thousand times that I can But if you call a spade a club, it doesn’t mean it makes a flush If all you’ve got are diamonds in the rough Alchemical chemistry changing coal to flame Igniting the fuel before it gets a chance to shine Do you really need to shine a light through In order to assess the true value? Or can you tell in the dark, while they’re lying by your side? Haven’t talked to you in a while, which I regret Do you even know my name anymore, or do you forget? I know it’s hard for you to say what’s on your mind I don’t know yours either Been alone in my mind for a pretty long time Just tryin’ to figure out if everything’s fine Haven’t done a good job though, ‘cause I don’t know Would you forgive me if I told you That I’ve wanted to run away a thousand times? Would you forgive me if I told you That I’ve gone around and started committing crimes? To keep my mind occupied on something other than these silly lies But you don’t really give a fuck, do you? You just wanna hear me say that I love you Would you forgive me? Oh, forgive me. Haven’t talked to you in a while, which I regret Do you even know my name anymore, or do you forget? I know it’s hard for you to say what’s on your mind I don’t know yours either I don’t know you You don’t know me Let’s just call it even
4.
Sleep Alone 04:14
You’ve been gone for so long, I’ve forgotten what your face looks like What it feels like Your words still seared into my ears From a long awaited, too short phone call “I’ll see you soon, I’ll feel you soon.” ‘Cause we’re not meant to sleep alone I’ll call your name out ’til you phone And tell me one last time You’re coming home You’re coming home And when you left you said you’d be Happier than you or me could ever dream I disagree ‘Cause you and I, we’ve come so far Since laughing like we owned the bar And being asked to leave As they put out the sugar for the morning coffee No we’re not meant to sleep alone I’ll call your name out ’til you phone And tell me one more time That you’re not coming home That you’re not coming home ‘Cause your home seems to move every time you come near And right now it seems so far from here I think I might have disappeared And then I felt it, coming whether I wanted it or not This lonely feeling This lonely feeling That you’re not coming home Oh I had no place so close to your heart But let me down easy before you depart No we’re not meant to sleep alone So hold on tight, and don’t let go
5.
Run Away 03:00
Give me some of that I don’t know how it got so bad Just go and cancel all my plans ‘Cause every time I’m feeling sad Oh I feel like dancing in the sand It’s not that I wanna run away Oh I just don’t know how I can stay ‘Cause when I see reason I see none So I’m going dancing in the sun If I don’t know where I’m gonna go The better I’ll feel once I think I’m done ‘Cause I’m already lost inside my thoughts So why not get lost while I’m in the sun? Why not get lost while I’m in the sun? Why not get lost In the sun?
6.
You fell into me, and I didn’t know what to do ‘Cause you fell into me and I fell backwards too But now I know how it feels To fall in love with you And now I know how it feels And I hope that you know too ‘Cause I’ve never felt this way about anyone else When you fell into me, I didn’t know what to say ‘Cause you fell into me, and you swept me away And now I know how it feels To have a jelly to my peanut butter And now I know how it feels To have my heart develop a stutter But I’ve never felt this way about anyone else
7.
Touch 04:24
I can stand on the shoulders of giants Make myself reliant on making people defiant But that’s the way the world came Packed with rebels and heretics it’s all the same So you can keep on running your charade While I keep on runnin’ and gunnin’ in my parade Doesn’t have to make you feel good Just doesn’t have to wreck everyone else’s mood ‘Cause I had things to do that never got done It doesn’t matter now if I’m having fun Oh the trees don’t lie, they don’t steal or cheat But a tree can’t change the world, That’s how we got them beat ‘Cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening, yeah And when does love Begin to wash away the things that we all fear? And what does it matter Now that all I have is this buzzing in my ear? Oh ‘cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening, yeah When I’m ready I’ll attack the words, Give it everything I’ve got But what’s left is fool’s gold There’s more that it’s not It ain’t nothing but a pretty colour And even that could be fuller I came out as a caterpillar, Went in as a Rockefeller But I had things to do that never got done It doesn’t matter now if I’m having fun Oh the trees don’t lie, they don’t steal or cheat But a tree can’t change the world, That’s how we got them beat ‘Cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening, yeah And when does love Begin to wash away the things that we all fear? And what does it matter Now that all I have is this buzzing in my ear? Oh ‘cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening, yeah Oh ‘cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening, yeah And when does love Begin to wash away the things that we all fear? And what does it matter Now that all I have is this buzzing in my ear? Oh ‘cause I came here to talk And I spent twice as much time listening These oblong thoughts come easily Stretching my field of view What’s hard is when they mean nothing Or something I already knew
8.
Made Of 05:04
The secrets we tell each other They come out one at a time As they fall On deaf ears, at quiet times, alone While we rehearse them in the mirror Waiting for the time to be right When we know The strength inside will match the strength we show But it’s hard enough to face the face Who’s always staring back But there’s nothing to be ashamed of We’re just being what we’re made of And it comes out in the quiet Between the times we speak Between the times we think we know we’re right And between the times we’re weak We’re constantly checking If what we’re about to say is really what it’s worth Is it our two cents or is it nonsense All these things that we’ve unearthed? But they’ve come from inside us And we can no longer hide this It’s bursting at our seams ‘Cause our dreams, they’ve Confided in us But there’s nothing to be ashamed of We’re just being what we’re made of And it comes out in the quiet Between the times we speak Between the times we think we know we’re right And between the times we’re Weak Weak The drain drips away As I float off into the recesses of my brain Just searching for the last part of me That might still be the same As I’m thinking of you And what we might have to go through I come back down And I almost drown And that’s what you come home to But there’s nothing to be ashamed of We’re just being what we’re made of And it comes out in the quiet Between the times we speak Between the times we think we know we’re right And between the times we’re But there’s nothing to be ashamed of We’re just being what we’re made of And it comes out in the quiet Between the times we speak Between the times we think we know we’re right And between the times we’re Weak
9.
I look ‘round the table My family’s all here In this town full of people Who visit once a year So split down the middle You cut and I choose But whatever I do We both seem to lose But nobody leaves And nobody stays We’ll be here forever Minus a day I sing in the shower To let it all out I know you can hear me There’s no need to shout I count to one hundred It’s as high as I can go And the washer helps heal me By washing out The words that you throw ‘Cause like it or not We all have those days Where we hurt those we love And need to part ways But nobody leaves And nobody stays We’ll be here forever Without the words we should say ‘Cause the blood that connects us It’s only so thick The rest of it’s our job To make sure that it sticks
10.
The world is spinning faster now That I can’t see the sun rise Above the clouds And every night and day Has blended into one And I just want to know The way it feels again To have the sun ‘Cause I just know that I won’t find The words to say when I am feeling blue So In the night time when it’s cold I’ll curl up next to you And feel warm again For the first time in a while No I don’t want to lose you But I don’t want to know you When we’re old and grey And can’t tie our own shoes

about

Sehnsucht is German for Nostalgia, longing, or yearning. More specifically, a deep unsettled longing for something ‘else’

An unapologetically melancholic indie-folk album born straight from the heartfelt reflections of Singer- Songwriter Teo Saefkow’s experiences with the concept of Sehnsucht, and influenced by the folky- atmospheric confessional style of artists like Lucy Dacus and Gregory Alan Isakov. Scalawag’s sophomore album Sehnsucht deals with the multi- disciplinary artist’s attempt at finding meaning within relation. From the opening track’s examination of a doomed relationship, to obsession with the thought of a loved one deciding never to return home in the album’s fourth track.

Teo Saefkow (aka Scalawag) self produced and recorded the entire album during the winter and spring of 2021. “Growing up, I was always most inspired by musicians who were able to hop from instrument to instrument” says Saefkow, “I endeavoured to do the same, and now, whenever I record, I’m always looking for new techniques or instruments that I can add to the sound. Everything you hear on the album came from me, with a few cameos by some close friends.” Teo crafted the album in the basement of an old house in East Vancouver. “When I made my first album, I wrote most of it in my home town, and I recorded it all there. This album feels like it came from a different place. It feels very East Van, I wrote it here, I produced it here, and now it feels like I can finally call this place my home.”

Sehnsucht is Scalawag’s Sophomore album, following the artist’s self-produced, self-titled debut album in 2019, and the more recent “Runaway EP.” (Reviewed “From bone-deep sadness to floating happiness and body moving rockabilly realizations, he has you hooked to his varying sounds and scrambling to add each track to your favourite playlists.” By The Other Side Reviews, and “Scalawag manages to tie it all together with his nostalgic crooning, to create a smooth and cohesive soundscape.” by Music Crowns)

credits

released June 1, 2023

This album was entirely self-recorded and produced by Teo Saefkow (Scalwawag) in a room in a basement suite on the unceded territory of the xwməθkwəyə̓ m (Musqueam), Sḵwxw̱ ú7mesh (Squamish), and səlilwətaɬ (Tsleil-Waututh) First Nations known commonly as Vancouver, Canada. All the instruments were performed by Teo Saefkow except for:
Luke Windle - Drums; Touch
Zak Windle - Bass; HeyDay
Sam Shoichet - Stand-Up Bass; Made Of, Fleeting

A very special thanks to Laura Mayne and Laura Duggan for letting me make noise under their feet for close to a year while I recorded this album. Thank you to my mom, Joanne Campbell, for allowing me to use her painting as the cover art (and gifting it to me). Thank you to Blair Miller for letting me use his Dholak (hear it on Fleeting and HeyDay). Thank you to Jayka Mayne for supporting me, and being my sounding board for all of these songs and ideas at all hours of the day. Thank you to Jen Hutter, Hans Saefkow, Zak Windle, and everyone else who had a hand in shaping this album. And of course, the biggest thanks goes to you for listening!

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Scalawag Vancouver, British Columbia

Scalawag is a Solo multi-instrumentalist music artist that is sure to both make you nostalgic for things you've never experienced, and keep your head bopping and your torso grooving. With an eclectic mix of genre, and distinct vocals, Scalawag takes you on a journey of imagination. ... more

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